Im trying to grow my relaxed hair(end of neck length)?

Okay, as for all of the products, you really don't need a whole laundry list of products that you should be using, unless of course you're doing the trial and error thing (trying differents products out to see what works best for you). You're on a good path with the pure lavender oil, castor, and tea tree oil, just try to get some essential jojoba oil to act as a carrier oil. Mix about 1 ounce of the jojoba oil with 3-5 drops of the lavender, castor and tea tree oils. If you are trying to go natural you can get rid of the wrapping lotion or spray because you will no longer have any use for that (if your gonna do a big chop). You should also throw away the BB hair grease which is really heavy and will clog your pores with the heavy petrolatum (which is probably the main ingredient). With clogged pores your scalp can not breath and that may cause your hair to grow at a slower rate. Also you should realize that going natural does not mean that your hair will grow faster or longer than it is already growing. As a matter of fact it may seem as if it isn't growing much because of the shrinkage with your curls.You just won't see nearly as much breakage or shedding, therefore you'll retain most of your hair growth. Most people go natural for their own personal benefit, to improve the health of their hair or to save time and money spent at the salon. As far as styles you could wear cornrows, micro braids, two strand twists, or flat twists (later take those out and wear a twist out). While you are growing your hair out you dont have to wear natural styles. You could still blow dry your hair with a comb attachment, then flat iron with a different flat iron. You could find a a decent flat iron at walmart for $20. Once you get alot of new growth it will be much harder for you to wear it straight though. Since your hair is really dry and damaged you may want to* think about doing a big chop if your mom will let you OR when you get trims just have them trim it a little more than they normally would to speed up the process. I think it's easier to do the BC beecause you won't have to deal with to types of hair and making the curly hair straight or getting the straight hair to look right in a natural style. Also you really can see progress when you BC, from a small fro, to ear length, to shoulder length, etc. The best thing about going natural is you get to test your hair, play with it a little and see what works for it. Most natural styles you can do yourself at home, like two strand twists, therefore decreasing the amount of money you have to spend at the salon. And I also think that your hair stylist is being really trifling and shady for not wanting to tell you how to take care of your hair and which products to use. She should be aiming to get your hair to it's healthiest state period, not just when she is the one doing it. You should ask her how to take care of it at home, where you can buy the products, or if you can buy some from her. If she still doesn't want to tell you then look at them when she walks away or is taking care of another client.